The real achievements

Good morning, Wednesday. Coffee has been poured into my teacup, right on cue, and I am sipping on it approvingly, as I edit a new video whilst simultaneously ponder upon a few fragile thoughts.

It’s my last week in America, and a concoction of emotions are brewing. Of course I am excited to return home and be reunited with my loved ones, but it feels like, if that’s my sugar in this coffee, it’s been mistaken for salt.

Yup, I’m going to miss my life over here, but I always knew the day would come when I would have to fly back to the UK, without Jonny by my side for the first time in 3 months.

Honestly, the reality of that aspect has graced me with not only sadness, but also an uncomfortable amount of regret.

I wonder to myself,

“How have three months just flown by, and what have I got to show for myself?”

It’s a bitter fact that I did not do the majority of the things I planned to do when I first arrived here in America.

I have had a lot of time to myself and, by this point, I expected to have completed at least one of my children’s novels and started on the illustrations, learnt how to needle felt and crochet, taught myself the basics of ukulele playing, and just done more overall.

I hate to admit it, but I had an inkling from the beginning that this is how things would pan out for me. Why break the habit of a lifetime? I have never been very skilled when it comes to shaking off the symptoms of the dreaded procrastination bug. That stuff is terminal.

However, though belittling myself in a disapproving manner may seem like my only option, it’s merely just ‘the easy option’ in this situation. Instead, like the millennial I am, I need to look at what I have achieved.

So here it goes:

1. I’ve been going to the gym and jogging frequently.

2. I started writing a novel.

3. I created and uploaded to my long-anticipated ASMR channel.

4. I started a blog and have been publishing consistently.

5. I’ve learnt how to make delicious banana pancakes.

6. I’ve been lucky enough to explore South Carolina.

7. I’ve met new people.

And most importantly

8. I got to live with Jonny

It was on that note that I remembered the real reason as to why I am here.

Jonny.

The biggest achievement of them all is that I got to live with my boyfriend after being in a 2-year long-distance relationship. Okay, so perhaps we are no closer to making our living arrangements permanent, but so much good has come from this opportunity. We are closer than ever, and every day has been magic, filled with happiness and laughter.

It’s just started to feel a little too comfortable, that’s the problem. I was forgetting that this dream-like state is temporary and I wouldn’t be able to stay for as long as we’d really like...because, you know, laws and stuff.

I was getting adapting to life here. I was getting so used to seeing old, discarded tooth flossers on every street. (Yup, that seems to be a thing in America, but I am in no place to complain as the English are notorious for having ‘bad teeth’.)

I love America. I love the culture and the people. Especially one person in particular. Perhaps I’m not so keen on the hunting traditions out here, and how almost every shop seems to have a deer head somewhere on its walls, but overall the experience has been something very eye-opening and unforgettable for me. I will cherish these days, and Charleston will forever hold a special place in my heart as being the city in which I first lived with the love of my life.

If that isn’t an achievement to be proud of, I don’t know what is.

I will miss you, Folly Beach.

Until next time, America.

01.May.2019

Wednesday