When the coffee goes cold

Wednesday, Wednesday, Oh Wednesday. It's been emotional. Well, not really. It's probably the caffeine from all the coffees in teacups that I've been having.

I started this blog earlier in the year, with the intention of making weekly publishments.

The initial goal, however, was to induce some form of creativity and joy for writing; as I was planning on penning a novel idea which I’ve had fluttering around my head for quite some time.

In the beginning, regular writing worked. This was purely because I was full of ideas for the blog, and I loved what I was writing about. It inspired me to think poetically, and I introduced that style into my novel. More recently, though, I’ve been finding myself contemplating and worrying on a Tuesday night because I don’t know what I will be writing about in the morning.

I may have some ideas, but none of which are filling me with any enthusiasm that converts to passion for the craft. So, in turn, forcing myself to write is having the complete opposite effect of which I wanted to begin with, and the novel writing has slowed. I think this is a common error with creatives who set themselves up on a routine, forcing weekly content output whether the content is something they have created with love or not.

Naturally, you start to resent your failure, and the lack of pride in what you’ve made becomes disheartening.

I’ve always wanted to write a blog, and now I have a blog. However, I am no longer doing this as a matter of ‘want’ but more a self-inflicted responsibility that almost comes in the form of a chore.

And as dramatic and sorrowful that may sound, I am being honest with myself.

Though it be small, by no means do I want to give up my blog. Yet I don’t want to crowd it with obligatory nonsense just to make it a weekly ‘thing’, which is why I have struggled to figure out the direction I wish to take it.

I’ve decided that blogs are no longer going to be posted weekly. Instead, they will appear when I have something significant I wish to voice. After all, I’ve always been a great believer in the idea that silence can be a friend, and that gaps in conversation do not need to be filled for fear of awkwardness.

Usually, making a reduction to a goal I’ve set myself such as this would fill me with disappointment and defeat, but honestly, I think this is a very constructive step and an action taken in order for me to fall back in love with blogging, and create the content I genuinely feel strongly about.

12.August.2019

Wednesday