Let’s talk about 'girl stuff'...

Okay,

I won’t lie to you. I’m not writing this entry on a Wednesday, and I do not currently have my coffee in a teacup. In fact, today is a Friday, and I don’t have any coffee at all.

Today’s blog is best served raw with some harsh truths and bitter realities on the side.

So let’s dig in.

All week I had been feeling fairly average. I wasn’t sad, but I wouldn’t really consider myself happy, either.

I felt positive, sure, but I was sort of just bopping along through life, somewhere in the middle, getting on with things as best as I could.

an illustated example of how my brain really works...

Then Thursday happened.

If you don’t know, I’m currently staying in America with my long-distance boyfriend. I saved up enough money to quit my job and come live out here for a few months, but legally I cannot work, which means I have a lot of time to ponder to myself.

Thursday’s pondering was quite the experience.

The day before was a blog day, and as I do on most blog days, I felt great. I was on a productive high, and I had uploaded, which gave me a sense of achievement and with that came the endorphins that we all so desperately crave.

So why was it that less than 24 hours later I was on the floor crying and feeling as though my life was so insignificant and pathetic?

Hormones.

Ah, yes. If you’ve got a uterus, you probably know what I mean by this. I was down with a case of the hormonal depression. PMS, PMT, whichever you prefer to call it. Your brain teases you by lifting your spirits higher than usual one day, and the very next day, those spirits are slam dunked through the safety net and right onto the hard cold ground. Lovely stuff.

Of course, we all experience things in our own ‘special’ way, but for me, I find the symptoms usually consist of:

• Heightened senses

• Low mood and irritability

• Lack of motivation

• Lack of self-esteem

• Headaches

• Fatigue

• Constant hunger

• Loss of interest in the things that I love

• And sometimes, if I’m being completely honest, I can even have suicidal thoughts.

It’s all pretty intense.

So, what can we do about it? Now, I’m no professional, but as a friend, I have compiled together a few tips that might help my fellow sisters out there...

My survival guide

Be aware

The most important thing to do is to know the score. Keep track of your menstrual cycle and note when it usually is that your emotions start to become blurry and what, from this, you have to expect.

Also, when it is happening, remind yourself that what you’re feeling is temporary and that you won’t feel this awful forever. In fact, tomorrow you’re most likely going to be feeling awesome.

My mum has consoled me many times over the years. After I’ve wallowed and wept for a bit, she will usually very diplomatically asks “are you due on?” and for a few seconds I get really offended and think:

“how dare she assume that the feelings I feel within my head and my heart right now can be so easily dismissed and diagnosed with something so mainstream and impersonal”

...and then I manage to nod my head, squeaking out a “yeah, I am” which tends to be followed with more weeping…

Educate yourself

Acceptance is key. If we know the why, what, where, when, who and hows, naturally, it makes it somewhat easier to understand.

It’s a very common condition, affecting around 90% of women across the globe, yet the cause is still unconfirmed. However, researchers have obtained evidence to suggest that both a woman’s sex hormone and serotonin levels can differ at the start of her menstrual cycle. Serotonin is the chemical in the brain which is responsible for keeping our moods level, so when it is altered, changes in mood, emotions and even thoughts are to be expected. Levels of progesterone and estrogen can also increase around this time of the month, which is likely to cause symptoms such as mood swings, irritability, and anxiety.

You can read more on the condition, here:

https://www.womenshealth.gov/menstrual-cycle/premenstrual-syndrome

Get up and out

If you’re not doing anything on your down day(s), I would highly recommend taking a shower, getting dressed, combing your hair, brushing your teeth, maybe putting some makeup on, if that makes you feel good, and then just getting yourself out of the house.

It sounds obvious, doesn’t it? Yet these seemingly easy tasks can become your arch nemesis when you’re feeling low. Fight them with all you’ve got!

I find it’s nice to go somewhere quiet when I feel like this, as being around crowds of people can increase symptoms of anxiety and irritability - and that’s not the goal!

Plan your day

On the back of the previous point, it’s a good idea to make yourself a schedule of how your day is going to go. What are you going to do and when? This way, you won’t find yourself stuck in a rut of feeling hopeless and not knowing what to do with yourself like I usually do!

Preparation is key, ladies.

If, however, things do not go to plan, remember that that is perfectly okay also. It’s not that big of a deal in retrospect.

Socialise and vocalise

Socialising doesn’t have to mean meeting up with as many friends as possible. Socialising could be as simple as just spending time with your family, or even writing to a friend via social media.

Do not isolate yourself, though it may seem so much more comforting to do so.

The vocalising part simply means that it is good to talk about what you’re feeling.

Let someone you trust know that you could really use a shoulder right now. Sometimes you don’t even need to talk about exactly what it is that is going on. It can really just help to speak your mind to anyone who is willing to listen.

If it seems as though you have nobody to talk to, or you feel like you’ve been rejected by someone, you still have a very important person you can always depend on:

Yourself.

Yes, it sounds crazy, but I have had many fulfilling conversations with my reflection, thank you very much. Am I ashamed to admit that?

No, I am not.

Or if that doesn’t sound like the best option for you, maybe a journal could come in handy. Jot your thoughts and feelings down on paper or via a Word document.

I guarantee that even this method will lift a weight from your shoulders somewhat.

Take it easy

Sometimes the best thing we can do for ourselves is just relax. Get yourself a cosy blanket and cuddle up on the sofa with a nice warm cup of something along with your favourite meal or snacks. It’s not uncommon for women and girls to want to take a day off from work or school when they’re feeling this way, so don’t be ashamed if that’s what you believe you need right now.

Memorise a mantra

Okay, this one is going to sound a little cheesy, so forgive me. That said, mantras can be helpful sometimes.

One I like to replay in my head is “tomorrow is another day” and in that, I remind myself that, yes, today may have been an awful mess of a day, but tomorrow can be a fresh start and I will try again. If it turns out that tomorrow is another day of wallowing, I will repeat “tomorrow is another day”, and so on...

Confession time

Are you embarrassed by the things that you do or the ways that you act when you’re experiencing PMS? Don’t be. Here, let me own up to just a few of the things I’ve found myself doing in the past when in the exact same position:

I eat obsessively - I eat like the stereotypical teenage boy when I am feeling this way. Cereal from the box? Sure, I’ll shovel it into my mouth, no milk required. Sandwiches filled with fillings I don’t even enjoy? Yes, please. Tons upon tons of chocolate? Is that rhetorical?

I do nothing all day - Even if I had planned my days out prior, I still manage to wind up spending the whole day on the sofa, endlessly scrolling through my Facebook News Feed like a new-age zombie, feasting on memes and those pointless TikTok advertisements that nobody actually wants to see.

I cry over the most pathetic things - I tried to get something out of a drawer which had somehow become jammed, and when my weak little arms couldn’t open it, I felt so pathetic and just started weeping on the floor. Yes, my thoughts then spiraled into all the other things I simply cannot do in my life. You know, because my inability to fly a rocket to the moon right now is 100% down to the fact that I can’t get a pair of socks out of my jammed drawer. There’s definitely a correlation there.

Honestly, anything is enough to get me crying on a day like this.

I won’t get dressed or even brush my teeth - As disgusting as that may sound, I don’t see the point in doing anything, and I seem to find comfort, basking in my sorrow and pitifulness. Therefore, why would I want to attempt to make myself feel better on the outside, right? Perfect logic.

Arguing on public posts via social media - A random person from the internet has an opinion that opposes mine? How dare they! Although I may make one solid point, I will most likely just leave my opposition hanging after that because I honestly can’t be bothered, physically or emotionally, to carry this entirely unnecessary conversation on. In fact, I’m probably just going to delete the thread rather than read your response, my newly-acquainted internet foe.

I’m snappier than a croc - Everything is just so irritating.

“No mum, I don’t want a cup of tea!!!”

So, there you have it: a little contribution to a discussion on hormones and PMS. One of which I hope has had a relatively big impact. I also hope that you will keep the conversation going, as I have always noticed that this is a topic I’ve rarely discussed with my fellow females or even my closest girlfriends.

Heck, I think it’s probably even more important that both men and boys are made aware of the mysterious changes in a woman's body around a particular time. Wouldn’t it be lovely to clear up the misconceptions surrounding women’s emotions and their menstrual mayhem?

So let’s share, because we’ve all been taught at some point in our lives that sharing is good.

You are more than welcome to share this blog post or even just share your thoughts in the comment section below.

Thank you for reading, and happy hormones to you all.

#sorrymum

22.March.2019

Friday